Realer than Real.

For a long time I’ve wondered why I only attract the broken, and today I realized there must be something broken inside of me that I have yet to discover or uncover. Maybe it’s possible I am not over the things that have happened to me in life, or I haven’t moved on as much as I believed I had. Every time I meet a new person, or an old person comes back into my life, it seems we are just repeating the routines of yester-whenever. If I’m being honest, I’m tired of the same ole, same ole.

My next move is learning to create those very necessary boundaries, and keeping in place what contingencies I have if those clear boundaries are crossed. Being sweet is a wonderful quality to have but I have to stop letting folks believe that I am to be treated however they see fit at the moment. ESPECIALLY If I’ve already made it known, that those behaviors are not acceptable. I’m tired of being frustrated, tried of feeling used, and I’m damn sure tired of feeling as if I owe anyone something! Loyalty will get you killed! So for once, I’m gong to be loyal to myself, and start giving myself whatever it is thats needed.

Tristan Jonez.

I’m Back… Kinda.

I’m a bit embarrassed that I haven’t updated my site since December 27! I so sincerely apologize! Honestly, Truly. I could blame it on being busy with life, but I will spare you excuses. I would hate to insult your intelligence, in that way, cuz y’all my people. You want the truth? I just haven’t felt like writing, I was a bit underwhelmed by the numbers. I write my heart out, then I only see a view or two. It was feeling like no matter, how amazing my photos were, or how relative my content may have been, I was getting absolutely no where. So I said off it, why write? Why post? Why be bothered with showing up, If no one else was.

Guess What?! I woke the hell up! Even if nobody ever shows up, I’m supposed to show up for myself. I am supposed to make sure I’m out here doing what makes me happy, and writing makes me happy, throw in some traveling, experiencing new food options and BAM! I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. So while I won’t promise a post everyday, I will post at least twice a week.

Thank You!

Tristan Jonez.

Why Wait?

Why wait for 2018? Do it Now.

Recently I listened to a video snippet, and the author told me, why wait until 2018 to make the changes you’d like to make?

And shorty, is right! Why am I going to wait until 2018 to start fresh, when everyday I wake up translates to a new beginning? With the rise of the sun, I am able to decide who I want to be and who I want in my World. Everyone’s manual for living looks different, so I have to find the instructions that work best for me. Find the people who work best, with my vibe, who brings out the best in me. Letting go is extremely hard for me, especially since my mother died. I hold on to folks tight, I look past their wrongdoings at my own detriment and I allow them to stay in my World. I find them sucking the life from me, and once I’ve hit rock bottom only then do I let them go.

This situation, this friendship, this love is NO longer serving me. Its no Longer allowing me to grow, no longer allowing me to be the best version of myself, no longer making me happy. I wish you the best, take care, thank you. I’ve found that speaking this outloud makes the transition easier. Can people change, sure they can, but for my own peace, they have to change elsewhere. Protecting my own energy is my top priority, everyone can and will be second my own self. Eff how they feel.

I’ve had a few light stealers, and I’ve let each and everyone of them go. God Bless ‘Em

Jonez.

Reward Reward

With so few that truly defines what it means to be a friend, should we reward those who get it right? Now hear me out, I don’t think I should “pay” you to be my friend but if I’m out and about is it acceptable to purchase something for my friend? Personally my friendship in return is the reward for you completing your duties as “friend”. While I think gifts should be reserved for birthdays and holidays, you should always show your appreciation for a good friend. But don’t be confused with good friend behavior. ITS NOT THE SAME!

Anyone can be a good friend, once. It’s the consistency that creates a balanced friendship. I shouldn’t wonder if your going to be there when it’s needed. Loyalty shouldn’t be questioned. And if I find myself questioning your loyalty then what use are you as a friend?

Tristan J.

Prize Money

I do believe we some (most) times forget that we are the prize. We are the ones to be pursued, cherished, adored! You, above all else, have to know your value. How can you show someone how you should be treated if you aren’t treating yourself as such. Folks learn from action!

I once found myself not being myself because in my mind, this is a “good guy” and I have to fit into whatever image he sees of me. I don’t want to loose this man’s interest cuz then I’m back to square one, and who wants to start all over? But I can’t settle, too many close calls to settling, that I’m not going to start that now. I’m the prize, and I have to treat myself as such. It’s no need to advertise what I bring to the “table”, as the man that’s looking for me will be able to realize my potential!

Jonez

Changes.

#TBT / #FBF

I was going through a few of my old photos from as far as ten years ago and it definitely made me smile to see how much I’ve changed over the years.

When I look at this girl, I see such a carefree, spirited person who had the World at her feet. I was still learning about myself and what I needed from myself. This Tristan, lived life as if the next day wasn’t promised.

This Tristan J is a woman who knows when to be soft, and allow someone else to take the lead, but she’s independent enough to make whatever moves are necessary for survival, she’ll be victorious. She’s still a spirited opinionated woman who won’t hesitate to let you know when you’ve fuked up but she’ll help pick you back up.
When you look at your old photos, what do you see?

Jonez baby!

Married? Eh.

For whatever reason, I’m not safe from married men. I would never ever date a married man, cuz karma would seriously hurt me. It’s not worth the problems you will have! As much as dating can be a pain, dating someone who is already committed to another just isn’t the move. I promise you! I’m honestly not sure what vibes I’m giving off to make married men even feel they are allowed to interrupt my space.

SideNote: I’m semi questioning if I want to get married, since lately married folk can’t stay out my inbox. What’s the point of dedicating your love to someone if you’re going to look into have your sexual needs fulfilled elsewhere beside your partner?

Jonez.

Showtime.

Life is funny like that.

Sometimes I really wonder if my life is a reality show to the angels. And if they’re constantly yelling plot twist! The number of weird randomness happening is at an all time high, and I’m just trying to get thru my work week without falling on my face. If tonight was the season finale for my reality show, I’m scared but slightly excited for next season’s foolery.

Jonezy

Listen.

When is enough, enough? What is your limit?

I’ve reached, No, I’ve surpassed my limit. While I will continue being the amazingly nice woman I am, I am no longer catering to anyone’s feelings. Especially when my feelings are never a pause for concern. I don’t remember folks, making sure I was alright, BEFORE, doing me dirty. I can’t remember someone handling me with kids gloves so I am not sparing feelings anymore. If I don’t set limits for myself and what I’ll allow then I’m just setting myself up for people to treat me however they feel I deserve.

Once folks have crossed the line, how do you remedy that?

Jonez

The Powerful Tool.

Our mind is the most powerful tool we have, please utilize it! Manifestation is as real as the air we breathe, as real as the water we drink, as real as the God you believe in.

For the past few days, I’ve been thinking about someone I knew when I was seventeen. I visualized his face, I heard his voice in my head, I pictured him in front of me. I didn’t say his name out loud to anyone, and after that moment I continued on with my day. You know business as usual. Well tonight I received a message from said someone. Although I whole heartily believe in my thoughts being able to manifest ANYTHING I can think of, my thoughts have never taken shape as quickly as it did in this instance.

If I was ever looking for one, that was my sign. The sign that told me, Tristan, you got this! Everything you are trying to accomplish, you most definitely will kill that shit. The only requirement is to believe that you CAN kill it, believe that its already yours and it is. All it takes is one moment, to know you are on the right path, even when your ass is in the bushes on the other side of the street. Get your self up, and go to where you need to be!

Tristan Jonez.

Feedback

As a writer, I am still trying to find my lane. I know that I can write just about anything but I don’t want to. I’m looking to further my portfolio but by writing pieces that I’m passionate about, things that actually matter to me. I’ve always been interested in the interactions between men and women, whether as friends or more. Eventually I hope to further my education by studying the psychology of people.

I believe by March, I will focus solely on the interaction between both sexes and my writing will reflect that. I know there are millions of folks that focus on that as well, but I’m going to put my own spin on the topic. As of right now Im looking to explore different routes but as I begin to go on this journey I know my path will become clearer to me.

Shout Out to my Instagram Sis, for keeping me on my toes.

Tristan J.

You didn’t Ask

I am all for a woman doing whatever it is she feels like doing. I will always be all for a woman doing whatever she feels like doing, especially with her own body. It annoys me when folks have opinions about how and why a female is doing her. Last time I checked, nobody is asking for your opinion about the next individual. I’ve always listened to my own drum, when it came to making decisions. I am the person who has to deal with the consequences of my actions.

Since I was seventeen, I’ve been the captain of this ship, and I would like to believe I have steered her correctly. I do not have any regrets, as every single lesson, was just that, a lesson. I hope I have learned what was there for me to learn as of lately I do believe I have taken heed to those lessons. Although there are things that my friends confide in me about, all I can do is listen, If they should ask for my opinion, only then do I share my feelings.

Do you give your unsolicited advice, when not asked?

Tristan Jonez.