Rough Weak.

I had a rough week.

Although I had a rough week in the people department, I always feel there’s no room for me to complain. I’m alive, so there’s always an opportunity to improve on whatever’s going on. However in full disclosure, I did shed a few tears headed home from the airport. It’s weird how comforting the airport is to me now.

This week I think I’ve lost a friend, and I’m walking away from a potential love interest. Both situations are draining! At first I wanted to crawl into a hole and hide until my heart had, had time to sort itself out. Then I cried, and felt much better after. Hiding has never done anyone any good ever, so I’ll keep focusing on myself. Instead of focusing on people and how to be there for them, Imma just show up for my damn self.

Jonez

Dear Motherless Child.

I love you.

I know what you’re feeling as Mother’s Day approaches, and I’m here to support you as much as you need. As much as you’ll want to isolate yourself, don’t. Or please don’t for very long. Cry, Yell, be angry, and/or Scream as much as you have to but don’t forget to surround yourself with love. “They” lied when they said time heals all wounds, it doesn’t, it just makes you learn what’s really important, what’s really worth your time and focus.

Although I can’t remember my first Mother’s Day without my mother, I do remember locking myself within myself. It remained that way for years to come, I told myself I didn’t celebrate this holiday, why should I?! I was without a mother. However as time passed I realized I was focusing on what I no longer had and not focusing on the many other women who had filled my heart with motherly love at one time or another. Now I celebrate those women.

Your momma may not be here physically, you may not be able to see or converse with her but I believe she’s still near you. Still watching and is part of your daily blessings. Celebrate the woman she was, celebrate the memories you’ve created together, and remember the love she showered you with.

In all things, with all things, let love be your guide.

Tristan Jonez.

PS. Happy Mother’s Day Garlick.

Single Again

Cue Trina, ‘I’m single again, back on the prowl. I thought it was perfect, I don’t know how’

I’m not sure if I’m ever sad over being single. I mean, I grow fond of people, especially if we have a genuine connection but what’s the point of fretting over spilled milk? I pay attention to the reg flags! I don’t ignore certain things just because I don’t want to be single. HELL NO! That’s how you end up with a mf for ten years, and wake up one day like ‘where did the time go?’ I refuse for that scenario to ever become my life.

I’ll even indulge in actions that I may not love but if I bring it to your attention and there’s actual change I respect it. But I’m not going to keep expressing my feelings and they continue to be ignored. I’m also tired of meeting one version of a man, then when he gets comfortable, I get to meet the real version of him. Nope! Not dealing with that anymore either. So tired of people’s representatives! At first I told myself I wasn’t going to date but off that! Let the dating olympics begin!

Tristan Jonez

Be Grown.

Since January 1st, I’ve been implementing mission: minding my damn business! Whatever someone needs to do to make themselves happy, I keep my opinion to myself. Even if their decision causes THEM pain, I just be like ‘oh ok’, or ‘wow that’s crazy’. Folks are out here living life, however they see fit, and it’s up to me to continue to mind the business that pays me. Whether a friend or foe, I keep my opinions to myself. There are times when said person wants my opinion on things, and I’ve also been keeping that to myself. Most times, folks are going to do what they want, so I’m wasting my time, getting my feelings involved, when they aren’t going to take heed to anything being said.

I know some folks who would intervene if said person was hurting themselves, but I refuse, unless they were mentally underdeveloped. Everyone I know, and are friends with is GROWN! They are able to take care of themselves, and should be able to make sound decisions. I’ve learned people need to learn for themselves, so who am I to take away their lesson but giving them a cheat code? Nope!

Tristan Jonez

Story Time, Spain.

Every time I travel I learn more about myself; what I need from life, what I want my life to look like, how I’d like to mold my future, what areas I’d like to improve upon, etc. This line of questioning happens throughout my time away from home. Traveling forces me, in the best of ways, to grow! There’s no way I can stay who I was, after experiencing a new place or revisiting an old place.

Currently I’m in Barcelona, I was here for my 29th birthday. Barcelona is special to me as it was my very first solo trip. Half way here, I was freaking out majorly because I was questioning myself, severe doubt crept in! Who did I think I was to be traveling out the country, to a place I’d never been, and didn’t speak the language, the damn nerve of me! Fortunately/Unfortunately I was already on the plane, Airbnb was paid for, so there was no way I could back out now, that first trip, taught me how to trust myself, trust my steps and that fiery gut instinct I’ve learned to depend on with my life.

And all that was said, to simply say, Just go!

Tristan Jonez

Listen Up!

There’s no bigger pet peeve of mine than someone telling me about me! Nobody knows me better than I know myself. Of course, someone looking from the outside can observe and notice certain things, but you’ll never be able to tell me my wants or my needs. Im honest with myself about what I need from myself and from others, no denials or delusions over here.

Please keep in mind, opinions are not facts. So when folks get into their minds that you need to hear their opinions, Feel free to listen but take it with a grain of salt. Make sure your actions align with the vision you have for you life.

Tristan Jonez.

New Direction

We have to start embracing change when its fighting to break through. We, myself included, have to stop waiting until Monday, the beginning of the month or the start of the New Year to see our changes through. As soon as you feel something needs to happen, make it.

Note to self; Get your ass up, be great, stop making excuses about why you can’t do something when there’s absolutely nothing you can’t do. Nothing!

For the majority of my writing it has focused on relationships, or the lack of them. Well I’m tired of that being my focus, especially when most of my writing is displaying the lack of relationships, lack of communication with the opposite sex. Nah, I’m going to focus on travel, food, and culture. I’m sure I’ll have a word or two about relationships, but it will not longer be a focus. I’m here for living my life, and writing about how good your first taste of French toast from Batter & Berries melts in your mouth. Or how serene it feels to listen to the church bells ring in a place where tragedy has struck.

Stick with me, You’ll love the ride. I promise.

Tristan J.

Poem Reader.

A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of attending the pop up art show at AMFM gallery, remember? Well I semi documented my time at the event, but I left out a minor detail. I met someone, and actually gave him my real number; shocking I know. Although he’s not someone I would go for, I figured why not? I’m in a new city, and my ‘type’ could be whats holding me back from finding the love of my life. Lets call him, Tyrone. Tyrone is a few years younger than me but he’s educated, passionate about his beliefs, and OD hella funny. Like have me in tears, gotta pee funny.

I warned him about me being a flight attendant, that I really have poor time management plus I’m still trying to navigate around being a flight attendant, being away from home in a new city, etc etc etc. It seems like we are still able to interact over the phone, via text and voice calls. Sidenote: The first night we actually chitchatted on the phone, before we ended the call, he read me a poem. So y’all already know I was ready to marry the kid. I just thought that was such an original, dope thing to do, very out of the ordinary, and seemed genuine. Plus for the duration we talked, he would read me a poem before hanging up.

Fast forward to now, we no longer communicate. I’m a bit sad about that but I am not going to hound someone down to be there. It went left as the day we had planned to go on an ‘official’ date he kinda just left me on read, (iPhone). Earlier in the day we were to meet, a classmate flew in, and I gave her an impromptu tour of Chicago. I got back home with enough time to nap, shower and make it to our date, but I didn’t hear anything from him for the rest of the day. I even, double texted and called a few times but no response. And before you jump to take his defense, he’s alive and thriving. So the search continues, but I wanted to let you guys know, its amazing how open you can have a female just by being original.

Happy Dating.

Tristan Jonez

Wine? More Please!

I wasn’t sure what to expect with Gabrielle Union’s book, and therefore I had no expectations. So she pleasantly surprised the shit out of me. I’m not sure why I pictured her as someone who was a bit rigid in her personality but the book was such a good read. Obviously there was some chapters that wasn’t easy to read, although I wasn’t the one living that particular truth, I could still feel her. I’ve added Gabrielle Union to the very short list of women who are friends in my head, Monica is number one, if you was wondering. I respect the level of honesty required to write her book. I’m thankful she found the courage to explore her past, to relive the not so nice parts, to be able to be a story teller to us.

As long as I can remember I was willing to support Gabrielle Union, the actress, now, I’m ready to support Gabrielle Union the woman.

Tristan Jonez.

Familia

I share my experiences cuz I want y’all to be better than me. Learn from all the weirdo, dumbass things I do and make better choices. First, I’m mad dramatic but my point is still valid. Don’t let two months go by before you make time for your family. I in fact, have done just that. The last time I was with my family was June 18, so I’mma few days shy of two months but wayyy too damn long. Now that I’m going to see them tomorrow I can just cry, and will most likely cry when I see them. Hell I’m crying as I write this. Although I have been in every other city than my own, it’s no excuse. I will never allow this much time to pass before I physically see my fam.

Life truly is too short. While I’m getting families to and from, safely, my own hasn’t laid eyes on this beautiful face. Pissing my sister off via cellular device, doesn’t have the same effect. Being all in both my nieces business, just don’t do the job over the phone and showering my nephew with love, can’t be felt over the phone. Realize and understand the importance of family BEFORE something tragic happens. I’ll be heading home to New York later on today, and a sleepover is definitely needed!

Tristan J

Pieces of my Soul

I’m a crybaby, always have been and will continue to be but I don’t normally get emotional at museums. Well, I wished someone would love told me to bring the tissues. Recently I traveled to Little Rock, Arkansas, first stop, Old State House Museum. Perhaps one day I’ll learn to research what’s on display BEFORE I visit but I’ll admit I’m lazy. However I think y’all know that already.

No secret, I love anything black people related. So I damn there bust out in the ugly cry for the A Piece of my Soul: Quilts by Black Arkansans exhibit. I remember being a young girl and snuggling up to the quilt that my grandmother, Theo Western, kept close. If I close my eyes and concentrate I can almost remember every single square. I’m embarrassed that I never inquired about each patch and the significance. My grandmother has since passed but I was able to find pride in her and this exhibit. Fun Fact: Quilts could weight as much as fifty pounds!

The museum has at minimum two hundred Quilts and proceeds to rotate the Quilts so all can be displayed. Yall know I’m super hyped to return. Growing up did you experience the magic of Quilts?

Tristan J

JT

Growing up I definitely was a fan of N*SYNC. When Justin decided to go solo, even in my child like mind, I knew that was a good look. It also helped that, solo, he was more geared towards R&B versus pop with N*SYNC, being friends with Timberland prolly assisted in the seamless transition. Random Thought; Do we place him in the ‘blue eyed soul category? And if so, is that considered an insult?

At first listen I didn’t exactly love the album , Man of the Woods, but upon locking myself in with it, it’s actually a very good album. I know folks crossed him off after ‘NippleGate’ but it’s been how long? Let’s let it go! I can’t remember the last time I went to a concert but I do believe in this album so fondly that I’m considering seeing him when he arrives in Chicago. If you’ve experienced the album, how does it move you?

Tristan J.