PR Princess

As y’all know I adore Puerto Rico! When visiting a country you love, do you try create new adventures by exploring or do you keep the same routine? In Puerto Rico, I tend to keep the same routine, find a spot on the beach and tan this melanin skin tone. Lately I’ve been seeing the island, spending time with the locals, getting to do more than just spend time at the beach. However I do enjoy, simply doing, nothing. There’s so much of my life, my time spent doing, that when I don’t have to, I’d rather not.

According to Wale.

“She gonna find her solace, in knowing a nigga is damaged. She gonna take my heart, cuz a nigga took her for granted.”

Solace n. Comfort or consolation in a time of distress or sadness.

Now Wale, I can’t speak for all Women, but being with a damaged man, makes EVERYTHING that much fucking harder, especially anything surrounding emotions. I’m sure if we knew PRIOR to catching feelings for this man, that he was damaged, we would exit stage right immediately. Black men hardly want to identify the triggers that caused damage, barely want to explore how to correct those triggers so he isn’t ‘bleeding’ on the next, or acknowledge that he is damaged at all! IF and when, a man gives us his heart after he’s been damaged, its a struggle, it stays a struggle because he stays on guard, just waiting for the moment we screw up then he can retreat back to his shell.

Vulnerability adj. susceptible to physical or emotional attack or harm.

Falling in Love requires vulnerability. You are literally placing your heart in the hands of someone who can hurt you, but you are placing faith and confidence that they won’t. You can’t be in love and have one foot in, nah. Love requires both feet, and all body parts including your brain. You have to be more than okay handing over the most sacred part of yourself over to someone. I’m sure not Love can work otherwise, damaged or not.

Tristan Jonez.

Song Lyrics from Break my heart (My Fault) Ft. Lil Durk

Where’s my Lid?

If a man’s words and actions don’t match, leave. If you’re set on staying, always go according to his words. He can ‘show’ you all the emotions and feels in the World but once you start getting attached, he’ll remind you, aht aht, I told you what I wanted in the beginning. If it’s a situation where he’s not looking for commitment but you are, leave. Don’t even waste a second of your time, cuz you’ll see all the great qualities about him, possibly meet friends, learn about him, accommodate him, then when it’s feeling like a relationship, he remind you, Aht Aht, I told you, I’m not ready for that.

Trust me! I know it’s a pain to meet someone then be told they don’t want the same things as you. The dating pool in EVERY city sucks, flight attendant here, so I know, but don’t settle for the now, play the long game. I’m a firm believer, there’s a lid for every bowl, you just have to be patient enough and bold enough to go after what you want. Don’t take a man telling you, he’s not looking for the things you are as a challenge. ITS NOT A CHALLENGE! The likelihood of him changing his mind based off of anything besides his own mind, is very slim. So waste not another second on him. Go out and find your lid!

Tristan Jonez

Dear Diary …

No matter how much you prepare, you can never emotionally successfully prepare for the lost of a parent. Recently I’ve found myself thinking about if Garlick, my mother, would be proud of me. When asking others who knew her, the answer is always yes, but what if she wasn’t. Obviously we’d never truly know how she would feel. But the question remains, would she be proud of what my life has become? Proud of the life I’ve created? My journey is unique for sure, and it’s different from the life I think she had for me. Hell, it’s different from the life I considered for myself. And although I can’t say if she’d be proud, I know whatever route, no matter how unconventional, she would’ve supported my choices and THAT trumps everything.

Tristan Jonez

Dear Diary …

I’m tired of being me, but I don’t want to be anyone else, Ever.

I get tired of folks seeking and using my light, my energy for themselves. Depleting, taking all my gifts, and failing to replenish. Some humans just know how to drain the Life out of you. Sidenote; I don’t think I’ve been kind to myself lately. I KNOW I need a beach, I know I need to feel the sand between my fingers, on my body and I have yet to give my soul what its’ seeking.

How often do you retreat to give yourself what you need? Do you listen to your body/soul when it says Stop? Go? Rest?

Jonez.

One Night Only (Atl)

I’m not sure there can ever be a conversation about Atlanta without including a ten hour chat about The Soul Food Options. When I think of Atl, that’s the first thing I think of. I had the pleasure of experiencing Mary Mac’s Tea Room. We, my friend Towana and I, arrived early and the wait wasn’t as long as I imagined it would be.

Our waiter was spectacular! Truth being told, the food was amazing but he made my experience what it was with his charm and wit! On to the food! The menu is a bit massive, so get a start while waiting in the lobby for your table. Also keep in mind, you’ll be writing down your food choices, so don’t freak out! Cuz I was like oh God! This makes my choices permanent!

I opted for the meatloaf , which was divine and definitely southern. I believe there was a touch of sugar in the sauce but it blended well with the tanginess of the tomatoes. Whipped mashed potatoes weren’t as ‘whipped’ as I’d imagine them to be but still delish with the brown gravy. Added collard greens cuz … the south. A very good meal to devour before ending my night flying back to Dallas.

Have you been to Mary Mac’s Tea Room?

Tristan Jonez

One Night Only (Atl)

Surprisingly I’ve only been to Atlanta once. A city that’s such a historic epicenter, I can’t understand why I haven’t been interested in going before.

One Night Only Consists of three parts, The Arts, Food and Culture. Right now, let’s explore The Arts. SCAD, The Savannah College of Arts and Design, has SCAD FASH, museum of fashion and Film, which initially wasn’t on my radar, but I was lead to explore. Quick Story, the museum’s entry is ‘car friendly’, it’s easily accessible thru the parking garage but you know I’m walking. So I ended up walking pass the parking garage, then walking back and thru the garage, but it’s only key accessible on the ground flr. So I had to walk to the first floor to get to the elevator, to gain access to the fourth floor! Extensive but, the exhibit was worth every bead of sweat acquired.

The space houses two exhibits at the same time usually but a new exhibit was being installed which opens later this month on the 22nd. An intimate space, which allows personal attention from the curator, was a nice change from the major museums we usually experience. The exhibit, Form & Function: Shoe Art by Chris Frances, an iconic Los Angeles based artist, who explores the blurred lines of art, fashion and functionality. The exhibit continues through December 8th.

Jonez.

According to Wale …

“What if Love is nothing more than a fairytale?”

What if? In all my disappointments in Love, what if I was doomed before I had even started? Doomed before I could really have the opportunity to explore what Love was, What it means to be Loved in a way, that positively changed my life? As I get older I think I am in agreement with Wale … “What if Love is nothing more than a fairytale?” Then I’ve wasted so much of my life, looking, and waiting for the perfect love story. My first love is starting to feel like a story that didn’t really happen. As most of y’all know, my first love committed suicide so I do feel robbed. Sometimes I wonder if I felt the things I really felt, if the love we shared was real, and if it was, why did he make the choice to leave me, knowing all I had been through.

Emotionally I’m not ready to finish this conversation.

Jonez.

Song Lyrics from Cliche, ft. Ari Lennox & Boogie.

One Night Only Tour

I thought I would try something new when planning my overnight adventures. Truth be told, I am not a planner, I just ‘do’. Its especially easier when traveling alone, I just have to ask myself, “Self, What would you like to do?” Then I go out and do it. I wanted to be able to have a set of guidelines, so I could follow the plan no matter the city I explored. Are you ready for those set of guidelines? Well loosely, our focus would be The Arts, The Food and the Culture of any set place. No matter what city I am in, I will ALWAYS seek out the arts, usually a museum will do but there are times when none are opened, or they aren’t in the vicinity of where I am staying, etc. Food is my first love. I try my best to immerse myself with the culture of a country, when I fly out. If I am somewhere local, then I familiarize myself with what’s popular in that city. It wasn’t until I was thinking about what Culture is, that I had a harder time placing that in a way I could explore it. However I was able to verbalize culture in a way that COULD be explored.

Now that you know my guideline, Sit back, Relax and Read all about My One Night Only .. Atlanta.

Tristan Jonez.

Hey Diary,

When your heart is already in it, what body part do you look to for guidance?

The head would be the next logical choice right? It weighs the pros and cons, it can decipher what’s real and what’s just for show, right? Or can it? I’m the first to tell you, when it comes to matters of the heart, just tell me already. Lets take the guessing out of it, cuz I am so tired of trying to figure out who I should date, who I should invest my time with, who I should take seriously. This is all just toooooo damn much! Its such a popcorn culture, you think you’re vibin’ with someone then poof, they have disappeared because they’ve found something that better suites them currently. Are we no longer looking toward the future? Are we only looking towards the here and now?

Tristan Jonez

Dear Diary …

How do you know when it’s time to cut your losses and stop investing in someone? Maybe this question would be better posed to someone who invest in stocks and bonds so we could have an accurate depiction of how the process works. Maybe if we started treating our relationships/friendships in the same manner we do our finances, we’d be more successful? Although everyone’s finances aren’t anything I’d use as a go to guide.

Could we ever create a winning formula for relationships, using the same tools to invest in something financially? what would goals look like? What ‘mile markers’ could be created to determine the worthiness of investment? Could one’s dating history be an indication of anything other than what’s happened in the past? Since feelings change daily, how could we determine when it’s no longer ‘profitable’ to us as the individual to invest?

Tristan Jonez

Finish Last.

For a few days, I’ve been thinking of this text, a friend sent me. I’m genuinely nice, all the time. Never looking for anything in return. Just wanting folks to change their perspective, and see the good that’s to be seen in a situation. Do I have moments where I’m stuck complaining? Yes! But I try to set limits on those moments, cuz truly what do we get out of complaining?

I personally know life is a fragile, beautiful but short thing. I didn’t put my all into people as I should’ve while they were alive, so I use that to continue to move forward but to be as pleasant as I can. I’ve been thinking about what I want to be remembered for, what’s my legacy? I want folks to always feel I genuinely cared for them, that my niceness knew no bounds when it came to making them happy.

Jonez.