Sleepy Time.

So as y’all know, for the past few weeks I couldn’t sleep to save my life. The insomnia was kicking my ass in the worst possible way. I had tried all my tips and tricks minus taking sleeping pills but nothing was working for me. My next course of action was going to be those trusty sleeping pills, which can eventually have some dangerous side effects. So imagine my surprise when my friend, Tika, gifted me with a mug and peppermint tea, which is my absolute favorite!


I’m always appreciative of folks who do the little things for me! Tika, I can’t thank you enough.

Tristan Jonez.

Geraldine.

To better cope with the death of my mother, somehow I created a game that was to be played by us. Whenever I saw the numbers 10:13, that was my indication that my mother was thinking about me, and wanted me to know. 10:13 was my momma’s birthday! Over the years, seeing this, has brought me so much comfort, especially on days where I just didn’t want to deal with life. I feel my spirit being uplifted, when I see this, and most times it feels so random. I just happen to look at my watch, then Bam! its 10:13.

Do you guys have any ‘games’ that you may have created to communicate with your loved ones who may have passed away?

Tristan Jonez

Beneficial?

Such a Loaded Question, huh? 

A bad relationship ultimately and simply is any relationship you don’t really want to be in. Sex can only sustain any relationship for so long, unless it’s FWB. So many folks, including myself, have tried to stretch a relationship but it won’t work. It gets tiring quickly. 

Good sex will only sustain you until you find yourself in a better situation… with someone you actually want to pursue. Matter fact, even in a FWB situation, you’ll grow annoyed with everything besides the sex. True Story, when I was dating someone, only the sex was a highlight to them, after a while, the sex couldn’t even overshadow the person. 

So how long can good sex sustain a “bad” relationship? 

Tristan J. 

*FWB – Friends with Benefits 

Watch The Fade to Blk

I’ve come to have more of an appreciation of Jay-Z as I’ve gotten older.

Big up to my homie Deja, because of said friend, I am able to listen to the FULL collection of work by Jay, on Tidal. I wanted to hear his interview which was exclusively, on Tidal, but then I started to miss being able to hear his music whenever. Yesterday, I was going thru some of the music, and really thinking about his songs/albums and which one or ones relates to my life. Watch the Throne is my absolute Favorite body of work.

SideNote: I’ll be happy when Kanye and Jay, finally sit down and hash out whatever the issue is between them. Listening to Watch the Throne, has me all in my feelings as they make AMAZING music, it’s such a special body of work. As men, I know it sometimes take a bit longer to reach out when lines have been crossed, but as family, we all gotta swallow our pride and make the move.

SideNote II: Although I haven’t really had a chance to listen to 4:44, Watch the Throne will forever be Number one for me.  Every time I listen to the album I feel as though I am fucking royalty, and I am coming into my own as a blk princess. I love the contrast between Jay-Z’s voice and Kanye’s. Even the flow of the album sits well with me, honestly one of both their best work.

Tristan Jonez.

 

Failed but Not. 

As much as it pains me to go through a break up, failed relationships are essential to my growth as a woman. Once the sting of the break up wears off, I’m able to look at where things may have gone wrong, and correct them. We aren’t always able to remain friends with our exes, but if you do remain cordial and can have an “exit” conversation, please do.

I grew up after my first real break up, I had to. We were pregnant and engaged, walking away was the hardest thing I had to do but I couldn’t continue to sell myself short. I’m always willing to work on “us” but not at the expense of myself. I learned some of my greatest lessons with him, how to listen to my partner, how to not want to have the last word about everything, how to let someone else lead for a while, etc. If we don’t have failed relationships we’d never know how we can improved ourselves, plus it’s growth the objective?

Tristan Jonez.

Option Two?

My latest topic was to include asking the age old question, “Do you have a “What If Guy” but I’ll be saving that for another day. I just realized, it’s possible that I’m the “Back Up Girl” 

In my head I heard the SVU sound, dah dah. I definitely don’t want to be anyone’s fall back chick, Ew. Out of the men I’ve seriously dated, there are only two that I am no longer cordial with, however I’ve remained friendly with the rest. Is it so far fetched that they stay in contact with me, just in case their relationships don’t work out in a way that they’ve planned them to? Or is my thinking totally off? 

Someone I was dating as a young adult recently attempted to reconnect with me, but it was so out of the blue. And to make matters stranger, he didn’t ease into it, it was more like “I miss you, Let’s be together… I’m serious this time.” So were you not serious before? Without even asking me if I’m involved, he just made an assumption that I’m single and looking to be in a relationship with him. Eh. Since I haven’t responded happily to his new revelation I haven’t heard from him, besides him “liking” my photos on Instagram. 

Now do you see why I’ve given up the idea of dating? Migraine City. 

Tristan J. 

Worth the Wait? I’ll never know 

While growing up in Baltimore has helped me create long lasting friendships, it’s also given me one of my most painful relationships. I met Troy* when I was 14, and my little World stopped. He was the most mysterious boy I had ever met. I promise you, I wasn’t even a factor in his day and he was my whole damn World. I was too shy to speak two words to him but I just knew it was love. As the months went by we became cordial, can’t help but to be when you see each other every day. I would constantly discuss him with my friends, but they were sick of my obsession. Unfortunately, with Baltimore being the crime capital of the world, at that time, Troy was arrested for a crime unknown to me, but I saw that as my opportunity to empower myself and reach out to him. 
I couldn’t tell you how many letters I wrote but the care and love that went into each one was my therapy, I’m sure it was his as well. My feelings were solidified every time he wrote me back. I do believe our forever friendship was forged during that time. Unfortunately we would never be together in any capacity, it’s weird, cuz I love this man. Still. I’m sure it has everything to do with how he views me. To him, I’m the best of the best from Baltimore , Im his Queen, his best friend, his wife and the mother of his only son. Troy respects me in a way that no man has ever, he places me on a pedestal, that I could never live up to but I love him equally. 

In Troy I see my motivator, my biggest fan, my protector from all things seen and unseen, he’s my best friend, my love, my dream, and even with all the beautiful qualities he possesses we will never be together. I’m not sure if it was ever written for us to embark on a journey together. 

However, whatever the future may possibly hold, Troy, I’ve loved you from the moment I met you, and I’ll love you forever. 

Tristan Jonez 

*Name Has been Changed  

Single Blues 

As much as I’m enjoying “Single life” (Lies) I’m currently going thru Single Blues. It very much could have everything to do with the upcoming change in season which is right around the corner, either way, I’m not looking to be single anymore. However I’m not looking to jump into anything random, just for the sake of not being single. I wonder if it’s possible to forget how to be in a relationship? If it’s possible to forget how to be a party of two? What if I’m no good at being someone’s significant other? Can I admit I’m a bit nervous which I think is the reason for my Single Blues. I could just be living way too much in my head but I’m concerned. 

How have you all dealt with being single while feeling like it won’t be ‘just like riding a bike.’ 

Jonez 

Who wants the American Dream Anyway? 

Lately I’ve been thinking about the life I want to live, and if the life I’m currently living is actually living. We all have an idea of what we want to do when we ‘grow up’, an idea about the paths our lives will go but then for most of us, life doesn’t go to plan. I knew my life wouldnt go as I dreamt it once my momma died. It was a turning point as I saw life truly was short. I wanted to, in a sense, have my cake and ice cream now before I was too dead to enjoy them.
Since I’ve turned thirty, and now thirty one, I’m not really recognizing myself. I’m no longer sure of who I am, what’s worst, I’m not sure how the hell I got to this point. I just don’t think the 2.5 kids, with the white picket fence is my definition of the American dream. My Dream is looking a lot more like traveling the World with minimal baggage, collecting experiences rather than things. My happiest place has always been on a aircraft flying to a new unknown destination. 
Although my story is still being written, what does your “American Dream” consist of? 

Jonez 

How happy is your Vag? 

My Vagina is the happiest she’s been in a very long time. We have become in sync with one another, how? I had to learn to listen to my body. Think about it, After eating avocados (RIP) , in some form, my body would reject it by hurting tremendously until I removed it from my body, usually by throwing it up. The vag behaves the same way. 
In my early twenties, my vag was always angry with me and as a result I was frequently present at my doctors office. Of course I thought I knew ‘her’ so I didn’t pay attention when she wanted more attention. I wasn’t taking care of my body, especially my vag. When I started to limit my juice and soda intake, she became happier, the more fruits and yogurts I introduced her cause her to then be extremely overjoyed. 
The September Issue of Essence has an amazing, and well informative, article on making sure your not only listening to your vagina but keeping her in the best of health. 
What are some things you’ve personally done to ensure your vaginas happiness? 
Jonez 

This Little Pig

So I am not really a fan of waffles, pancakes or syrup. I don’t really take the time I should to participate in Breakfast, I know I know, but when I do I usually have an egg (sunny Side up) on toast with cheese. When I do, brunch, I try to find something sweet and totally wrong for my diet. So When I arrived in Salt Lake City, I was on a mad hunt for food! Pig & A Jelly Jar was the top rated restaurant for Brunch so I figured, “Why not?”


I normally go for what the restaurant is known for, as it kind of ensures that the meal will be good, since they’ve perfected it. The meal was good, If I was to go back I would try something else but if you are a chicken and waffle lover, this would hit the spot for you. Unfortunately I didn’t care for the waffle or the syrup, but that’s cuz Im not a waffle fan. But the chicken was very well flavored, seasoned so good, juicy and a good coating of fried skin. I could have definitely go for a second helping; super delish! Once I was finished my meal, I saw there was an assortment of jelly flavors, NEXT TIME!

There’s nothing better than jelly on a butter biscuit.

Jonez

Tired AF

Have you ever been tired AF but unable to find any rest at night?

This week I just couldn’t sleep! I’ve stopped taking sleeping pills to help me sleep a few years ago, and I refuse to go back to that routine. I would usually drink peppermint tea about an hour before ‘bedtime’ to try to ready my body for sleep. Since I moved to the new spot in Queens, I haven’t had the opportunity to purchase tea, or a mug so that’s been a wrap.

Since I love the beach, even though I have yet to visit one this summer, I found beach sounds on Spotify last night. I can’t be sure that was the cure to my insomnia but it definitely worked beautifully. I felt like I was sitting at my usual spot in Puerto Rico, under the sun, just blissfully relaxing. It was such a feeling! Its incredible how music can just transport us, damn there physically to another place.

Needless to say, I slept amazingly. What’s your trick when you can’t sleep?

 

Tristan J.